Why Cops Would Be A Boring Show Here

I promised you a look at our adorable crime rate last week. Of course, there are small, rural towns where you couldn’t even measure a crime rate, but as I discussed last week, we’re in a sweet spot near the big city, two highways and wherever you cross our city limits, the crime rate rises (those cities are bigger, it’s nothing magical). We get most of the perks from being almost in the city, and at the same time, our crime reports could be stolen from a nostalgic commune. Without further a due, I’d like to present you some downright adorable crime reports (all from several weeks worth of Kirkwood-Webster Times):

Speaking of adorable crimes, this GIF of a racoon stealing cat food is my favorite ever.

Speaking of adorable crimes, this GIF of a raccoon stealing cat food is my favorite ever.

– A customer at a business in the 9400 block of Manchester Road (they mean the gas station that takes up an entire block, but they can’t name it, of course) reported keys stolen. They were recovered.
– A verbal disturbance ended when one of the complainants left the scene (this happened twice this week, so it was crazy busy).
– Police responded to a report of a suspicious person and assisted the man, who was lost and looking for a service station.
– Police received a call for a suspicious person who turned out to be a worker for a cable company.
– A disturbance was reported Sept 29. Two sisters were arguing.
– A careless driver was reported Dec 6. When police arrived, the driver was gone.
– Police were called for shots fired. The report was unfounded.
– Police responded to a report of a barking dog. They located the dog, and the owner brought the animal inside his residence.

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13 thoughts on “Why Cops Would Be A Boring Show Here

  1. The curious incident of the dog in the night…here the dog did bark, unlike the one Sherlock Holmes investigated. I very much suspect this doggy was a burglar dog and he was so proud of what he’d achieved that night, he just had to tell his owner all about it. No wonder the man pulled the animal quickly inside (“shut your snout, Fleabag, you’re giving the game away!”). I love the gif! So cute.

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