Give me your tired, your poor, and I’ll fatten them like never before

Just a few days before I left for the US, I visited my dentist. We talked about my pending move and the dental implications that were to follow, as well as the impact the move would have on my health care. He assured me that he would still be my dentist in some ways, and that I could call him if necessary. I have a feeling he wasn’t just going to miss one of the best flossers in his practice, but also realized the chance of me visiting a dentist for check ups is much smaller in a health care wasteland. Not only my dentist had concerns for the coming change in diet, I myself had some worries as well. Every time I visited miss Missouri, I’d come back with more love, more understanding of America, and more room to put it, because I’d gain a substantial amount of pounds. My own mother was all too eager to point out there was more son to go around after my visits. The dangerous cocktail of lack of movement I had in the US combined with a celebratory mood of finally being together again, never seized to miss its impact on my waist.

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And I wasn’t alone. When it comes to weight, America and Neptune aren’t too far apart. Just being there adds a few pounds to your mass. For some, it’s more than just a few pounds. I was shocked when I was in an elderly home where someone seemed to need all the constant care just because he ate himself to the point where he was immobile and completely dependent. The whole country at its worst seems an obesity theme park with funny grocery store rides, comfortable double chairs, cool scooters in airports, and accommodated facilities for whoever has a boo-boo.

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After a few months of living here, I am pleased to report no substantial weight gain (but I have high hopes for Christmas, right after Thanksgiving). I have, however, found the best solution of all weight problems. The other night, as Mrs Missouri and I were in the gym compensating for the lack of cycling everywhere, I decided to use their scale. It was after Thanksgiving, so it was an excellent time to see the effects and plan for Christmas. Evidently, Turkey adds to your weight. I gained a whopping 20 pounds. My resolutions to work out shifted into high gear. We needed to eat better, work out more, and probably live on carrots for weeks. Then I came home, and in my disbelief weighed myself again. In the 500 yards that separate the gym and my bathroom scale, I had lost 21 pounds. I can’t guarantee those results, but for those who worry, I highly recommend trying a different scale.

PS. I also have a Google+ connection now. And have you seen my Facebook page on the right?

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11 thoughts on “Give me your tired, your poor, and I’ll fatten them like never before

  1. Winter almost always leaves me indoors and gaining weight, especially with the holidays mixed in there. My doctor’s office scale is the only one I ever step on, and it’s not been kind to me lately!

    • Just like my gym’s, I suspect it exaggerates for a shock effect. Also, December is a terrible month for scales anyway, I’d rather weigh myself every June or so, right after the pre-summer preparations.

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  3. FYI exercise has never been shown to increase weight loss, as it burns very few calories and increases appetite appropriately. Weight losses are made in the kitchen, not at the gym. Stay away from American processed foods which will make you fat!

    • It wouldn’t mind the weight gain, but it’s the areas in which it takes place that makes me go to the gym. If I run away from processed foods, will the exercise help then? Thanks for stopping by!

    • You did stop blogging! I’m honored to be the last to engage in your blog, though :). I like you stopping by, and I’d like to tell you that I came to the US fully prepared to have to work harder battling obesity.

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  5. To be objective and fair, Missouri is one of the heaviest states in the U.S. and much above the average American waistline…I live in California and only 53% of our state’s 38 million people are overweight compared to more than 2/3 of Missouri…

    • First of all, welcome to my blog. I see you made yourself at home. Also, I think that 53% of any condition should raise some eyebrows. But yes, Missouri is most likely much worse than California.

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